Man I feel some type a way, as the children say today. I have so much on my plate that part of me wants to run away, part of me wants to cry, another part of me feels as though that I am restarting my life, and the whole of me believes that God is pruning me, growing me, spanking me, and never leaving me.
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There is so much that I could say, but it would hinder and embarass myself, my husband, and possibly disturb my future. I will wait and see where God uses this time in my life.
Most black people are really proud. Sometimes to the deteriment of themselves and their relationships. When you have taken the back seat (sometimes undeservedly by this country and its country men) it seems necessary to put out wolf cookies to get folks off of you. People would rather see you do as badly as they are. That is not who I am. I am not perfect and have made the same mistakes others have done to me, recently, but in different ways. So I take fault in what has gone wrong, recently. I still hold on to my faith and before acting out more, I will heal and move past this time for myself and my family. After crying, screaming, and acting belligerent, God has given me peace. We shall we what true promises God has in store and what I will learn from this. Never say you will not do something. My God will show you how that is probably untrue. It is hard to believe that your world can be shattered and rebuilt differently in a day's time (sometimes for the better). |
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